3.05 (V) Week 3 Video 5 - Secure attachment
[MUSIC] Gud dag, my Swedish and other friends. In the last two videos, I talked about how neither being needy nor its opposite, being avoidant or going it alone, is good for happiness. In this video, I want to talk about what's the right way to be with regard to relationships, if you want to be happy. The right way to be, as far as enhancing happiness levels is concerned, as I'm sure many of you have guessed, is in between neediness and avoidance. It's what psychologists call secure attachment. You might be wondering what secure attachment is and how it's different from being needy and being avoidant. To help you figure this out, I'm going to have you fill out what's called an attachment style questionnaire. This questionnaire has 12 items, and you need to respond to each item by indicating whether it's true or false for you. Needless to say, if you want an accurate picture of how you are in relationships, it's very important that you are totally honest when responding to these items. Also, note that for some of these items, you may not be sure whether it's true or false for you. If that's the case, go with your gut feeling. Pick the response that seems instinctively to be the correct one. Now, although you have a better idea of what your propensity is in relationships, it's important to revisit the point that I made a while back. None of us are one way or the other 100% of the time. But, so long as we exhibit the right level of desire for connection most of the time, we would be in a good place. The question then is, how do you get to be consistently in that space between neediness and avoidance? And if you're already in that space of secure attachment, what can you do to continue to stay there? Those are the questions to which I will turn in the next couple of videos. Adjo to that. [MUSIC]
