image

Mastering Your Emotions, Emotional Intelligence - Why Your EQ Is More Important Than Your IQ

hey this is Leo for actualised org and

in this video we're going to talk about

emotional intelligence

alright so emotional intelligence why is

it important well first before we even

get into that let's say emotional

intelligence is also defined as EQ kind

of like you have IQ which is your

intelligence quotients well here you

also have EQ which is your emotional

quotient so I'll be saying

interchangeably emotional intelligence

sometimes other times I'll be saying e Q

to be compared to IQ alright so why is

EQ important well what they've actually

discovered after doing lots of research

in the last really thirty years they've

had so much research about what creates

performance and success in business and

in careers and what they really found is

that people who are successful the

number one factor is not IQ it's not

intelligence the number one factor is EQ

it's emotional intelligence it's your

ability to work with emotions that is

what's critical they've done so many

studies in colleges and universities and

in corporations across the country in

the world that really document this and

demonstrate this you think we would kind

of commonly think that well if somebody

is smart if they have a high IQ then

that person can get a lot of stuff done

and sometimes we even say that well he's

so smart he's got he's got like a really

sharp mind he's able to get stuff done

that's not actually very true people

that are extremely smart technically

speaking on the IQ scale if they have a

very high IQ actually they tend to not

produce that much they tend to be not

that successful when your IQ gets like

above 150 it does actually be

counterproductive because you're so much

in your head all the time and you lose

touch with the emotions and the emotions

are what really create success in life

because life is about relationships life

is about

being able to be in relationship with

others and it's also understanding

yourself and being able to control and

manage your own emotions so if you can

do that if you can develop strong

emotional intelligence then you are

going to be successful and your

relationships are going to be more

successful you're going to be happier

there you're just going to be happier

alone by yourself naturally you're going

to have better control you're going to

be able to do things you're going to be

able to execute on the things you want

to execute on because you're gonna have

the discipline in the wheel power and

you're not going to have those super

high highs and those super slow lows in

life you're going to have a more even

keeled trajectory through life and that

tends to be what produces success and

high performance so that's ultimately

why you should be interested in EQ now

EQ we should clarify what it is and what

it's not

let's start by what it's not a lot of

people will assume that EQ talks about

sociability and what emotional

intelligence means is that you're

extroverted and that you're confident

and that you're a people person and

you're very gregarious right we know

those types of people

that's the cliche extrovert well that's

not what emotional intelligence is about

emotional intelligence in fact is

something that dovetails very nicely

with introverts so for example I'm a

very strong introvert but I also have a

high emotional intelligence and this is

something that actually measured through

tests so I got I got tested for this and

you know you can take assessments online

and in both other places so the two are

not opposed at all and the two are not

synonymous being sociable and being

emotionally intelligent is not

necessarily synonymous so what is

emotional intelligence said let's really

define it let's break into it so here's

the definition that I got from a book

called emotional intelligence 2.0 which

I highly recommend you check out because

they've got a very in-depth explanation

with lots of examples and then they give

you assessment so you can actually

assess yourself and get scores which is

which is nice so it's not subjective it

becomes very tangible so definition of

emotional intelligence is and I'm

reading this off the ability to

recognize and understand your emotions

in yourself and in others

and your ability to use this awareness

to manage your behavior and your

relationships so that is e Q in a

nutshell now there's really four pillars

I'm calling them four pillars of

emotional intelligence and they were

part of that definition if you notice

pillar number one is your ability to

understand your own emotions being able

to label your emotions and just

recognizing what you have and having a

broader range of emotions so having more

awareness there that's pillar number one

pillar number two is your ability to

control your emotions because it's one

thing to just know your emotions what

you're feeling label it it's a totally

another matter to be able to manage it

to be able to discipline yourself

control yourself

so you're not having those those crashes

and you're not having those ecstatic

Peaks but you're somewhere in the middle

and you're even keeled that's

controlling your emotions pillar number

two P low number three is your ability

to read emotions and other people you

might call this empathy it's your

ability to understand what other people

are experiencing and feeling being able

to relate to that using your mirror

neurons you're relating to that and

you're understanding their point of view

it's really the ability to step into

somebody else's shoes and look at life

or a situation from their perspective

that's pillar number three and pillar

number four is your ability to then

manage your relationships so how smooth

are your relationships going for you how

well are you communicating and

interacting within them that is also

determined by your EQ so EQ consists of

all these four pillars and actually in

that book emotional intelligence 2.0 I

took tests and I got tested I got I got

a score for each one of those pillars so

you might be stronger and you probably

are definitely stronger in some of these

four than you are in others so maybe for

example you are really good at

controlling your emotions but you're not

so good about managing your social

relationships or maybe your

you're really good at identifying your

emotions but then you can't really

control them and so you know you're

experiencing you can label it you're

self-aware you're very conscious but

then you're just struggling to actually

then practically manage that and channel

it into your work or the habits that

you're trying to instill in your life

like you're working on your diet or your

gym so you know you can have different

levels and of course the idea is that

the higher you are in each one of these

the better because you want all of them

maxed out ideally the more intelligent

intelligence you have the better you're

going to do in life the happier you're

going to be so you want them to be

maximally at 100 each one at 100 all

right so those are the four pillars I'm

sure you have a deeper understanding of

what EQ is let's also talk about how

this actually relates to some of the

stuff that happens in our life because

it might still be a little bit abstract

at this point it might be a little bit

unclear as to how EQ can really help you

and how it impacts you already because

it's already impacting what's happening

in your life in fact if you're having

struggle in relationships whether you're

intimate relationship or relationships

at work with your boss with coworkers

with employees then that's a really big

sign that you have trouble in at least

one of these four pillars if not all of

them so let's talk about that so here's

a list of the things that EQ is

controlling or is tied to these are some

of the effects of EQ firstly is anger

management are you able to manage your

anger well if you are then you have high

EQ if you're not then you have low EQ

probably because well you're failing on

those first two pillars you're not very

conscious about it about your feelings

and secondly you're not able to control

them very well so that's an example

right there next is accountability

how much accountability are you able to

take on yourself rather than blaming

other people that's connected to EQ how

about honesty and trust

that one is connected tq2 how honest are

you with yourself but then also how

honest are you able to be in social

situations without having to be

pressured into

into line or telling white lies or being

distrustful of people so honesty and

trust are big and those are really tied

to EQ you've also got assertiveness and

confidence

these are big if you're lacking in

assertiveness and you're lacking in

confidence then you're also lacking in

emotional intelligence communication how

good of a communicator are you can you

communicate in your intimate

relationship how about communicating at

work if you're not able to communicate

effectively that shows a lack of

emotional intelligence how about stress

tolerance are you always stressed

are you frantic are you anxious thinking

negative thoughts always judging

yourself feeling guilty well that is a

sign that you don't have very strong

emotional intelligence you're faltering

on one of those four pillars how about

decision making how strong are you of a

decision-maker do you find yourself

waffling all the time making a decision

then going back and going forward and

going back and going forward or not

being able to decide between two things

for a long time

procrastinating this is a sign of low

emotional intelligence how about

flexibility how flexible are you do you

flow with life are you able to handle

the challenge in the situation that are

coming up with life or are you very

rigid and set in your ways and

everything is bumping into you and

causing all sorts of pain and suffering

that's a sign of low EQ how about

presentation skills probably more

related to work how well you able to

give a presentation to speak to convince

people to motivate people to inspire

people especially if your manager this

is very very applicable and good

managers must have high EQ to be able to

influence their employees in a you know

effective way also the next point is

listening skills how about listening

skills how good of a listener are you

are you able to really listen to what

people are telling you are able to

understand it to really empathize with

it and are you able to then show them

reflect back to them that you did

understand do people think that you're a

good listener or do people think that

you're a poreless

well if you're a poor listener then

that's tied to low EQ so that is the

list and I'm sure there's more these are

just some of the most obvious ways in

which EQ connects to your life in all

these different areas but of course it

relates to your intimate relationships

very much it also relates to how you're

doing at work how you're talking to

clients all of that it also relates very

much to how peaceful and happy you feel

just inside by yourself because if

you're always frantic and you're always

sad or depressed we're having any of

these kinds of negative emotions you're

angry all the time you're guilty this

shows a lack of emotional intelligence

because you're not recognizing them in

yourself first and foremost but then you

also don't have tools and strategies for

how to manage them and then you're

you're expressing them and then it's

also impacting your relationships out in

the real world so it affects you and it

affects the world so that's you can you

can see how powerful this idea is and

how many aspects of your life it affects

it literally the tentacles from EQ

literally spread into almost every

single aspect of your life this is why

this idea is so so so important so now

we know what EQ is we really defined it

I think you have a good strong sense of

how it relates to your life with all

these examples the question now is how

do you go about developing it or even

can you develop it what can you do about

this what if you happen to be low in one

of these areas what if you don't really

have a strong sense of your emotions

what if you don't have good control what

if you can empathize what if you are a

bad communicator or bad in relationships

how do you manage that well the good

news is that more so than IQ EQ is

highly developable that means you can

develop it you can work on it it takes

time it doesn't happen overnight it's

not a week-long process it will take you

months to do this but you can work in

pinpointed ways on those exact

deficiencies that you have in each one

of these four pillars you can do things

to retrain your mind to think in new

ways to make new distinctions to

understand new thing

and to put new communication skills into

place so that these things are brought

up to to the maximum and that's work

that you can do I actually do a lot of

that work through coaching a lot of the

videos that I share with you guys

although I don't explicitly say that

this is about EQ or emotional

intelligence ultimately this is what

actualize that org is about we're

helping you understand emotions we'll

help you understand your psychology and

psychology is very emotion Laden and

then we're helping you understand how to

master them through all these different

techniques so for example something like

meditation or something like journaling

could be a technique that you can use to

reduce your stress or to build more

understanding of your emotions something

like coaching is something you can use

to understand your emotions better

reading books and understand about this

stuff can help you understand your

emotions better then going out there

actually practicing some of this stuff

so there's a lot of different like

practical techniques that you can use

and you should use to actually go out

and work on each one of these pillars I

don't really have time to go into them

it's such a deep topic there's literally

hundreds of them so I can't cover them

all I'm going to have other videos that

cover how to work probably on each one

of these pillars and share more of these

techniques with you but this video the

purpose was just to show you that this

is out there get you to start to

understand that emotional intelligence

is important and then hopefully give you

a sense of this is something that you

should care about and you should

probably have a sense right now whether

you are lacking in one of these four

pillars or in all of them do you think

you have low EQ or high EQ well now you

probably now have a better sense

although you can go out there to

actually get it tested objectively

through some of these surveys that they

have in books and online which I highly

encourage you to do but ultimately now

you've got a sense of this and now get a

little bit more body in to this idea

that emotions are important self-control

is important it's all connected to your

success in life alright this is Leo I

would be signing off this is what I have

to say about EQ go ahead leave me your

comments please like this and share this

I want to spread the message and of

course check out actualized org because

we have an awesome newsletter there that

I want you to subscribe to it's free

free weekly updates with new video

articles other goodies and really

you want to be signing up because you're

getting you're getting more information

about how to develop self-awareness how

to interact with the people how to

understand your psychology and the

psychology of others because once you

understand yours and the psychology of

others and you have some techniques for

how to manage your psychology well then

everything starts clicking for you and

your eye your EQ raises and then you can

accomplish amazing things so sign up we

got some free bonuses there and new

updates every week

you



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hey this is Leo for actualised org and

in this video we're going to talk about

emotional intelligence

alright so emotional intelligence why is

it important well first before we even

get into that let's say emotional

intelligence is also defined as EQ kind

of like you have IQ which is your

intelligence quotients well here you

also have EQ which is your emotional

quotient so I'll be saying

interchangeably emotional intelligence

sometimes other times I'll be saying e Q

to be compared to IQ alright so why is

EQ important well what they've actually

discovered after doing lots of research

in the last really thirty years they've

had so much research about what creates

performance and success in business and

in careers and what they really found is

that people who are successful the

number one factor is not IQ it's not

intelligence the number one factor is EQ

it's emotional intelligence it's your

ability to work with emotions that is

what's critical they've done so many

studies in colleges and universities and

in corporations across the country in

the world that really document this and

demonstrate this you think we would kind

of commonly think that well if somebody

is smart if they have a high IQ then

that person can get a lot of stuff done

and sometimes we even say that well he's

so smart he's got he's got like a really

sharp mind he's able to get stuff done

that's not actually very true people

that are extremely smart technically

speaking on the IQ scale if they have a

very high IQ actually they tend to not

produce that much they tend to be not

that successful when your IQ gets like

above 150 it does actually be

counterproductive because you're so much

in your head all the time and you lose

touch with the emotions and the emotions

are what really create success in life

because life is about relationships life

is about

being able to be in relationship with

others and it's also understanding

yourself and being able to control and

manage your own emotions so if you can

do that if you can develop strong

emotional intelligence then you are

going to be successful and your

relationships are going to be more

successful you're going to be happier

there you're just going to be happier

alone by yourself naturally you're going

to have better control you're going to

be able to do things you're going to be

able to execute on the things you want

to execute on because you're gonna have

the discipline in the wheel power and

you're not going to have those super

high highs and those super slow lows in

life you're going to have a more even

keeled trajectory through life and that

tends to be what produces success and

high performance so that's ultimately

why you should be interested in EQ now

EQ we should clarify what it is and what

it's not

let's start by what it's not a lot of

people will assume that EQ talks about

sociability and what emotional

intelligence means is that you're

extroverted and that you're confident

and that you're a people person and

you're very gregarious right we know

those types of people

that's the cliche extrovert well that's

not what emotional intelligence is about

emotional intelligence in fact is

something that dovetails very nicely

with introverts so for example I'm a

very strong introvert but I also have a

high emotional intelligence and this is

something that actually measured through

tests so I got I got tested for this and

you know you can take assessments online

and in both other places so the two are

not opposed at all and the two are not

synonymous being sociable and being

emotionally intelligent is not

necessarily synonymous so what is

emotional intelligence said let's really

define it let's break into it so here's

the definition that I got from a book

called emotional intelligence 2.0 which

I highly recommend you check out because

they've got a very in-depth explanation

with lots of examples and then they give

you assessment so you can actually

assess yourself and get scores which is

which is nice so it's not subjective it

becomes very tangible so definition of

emotional intelligence is and I'm

reading this off the ability to

recognize and understand your emotions

in yourself and in others

and your ability to use this awareness

to manage your behavior and your

relationships so that is e Q in a

nutshell now there's really four pillars

I'm calling them four pillars of

emotional intelligence and they were

part of that definition if you notice

pillar number one is your ability to

understand your own emotions being able

to label your emotions and just

recognizing what you have and having a

broader range of emotions so having more

awareness there that's pillar number one

pillar number two is your ability to

control your emotions because it's one

thing to just know your emotions what

you're feeling label it it's a totally

another matter to be able to manage it

to be able to discipline yourself

control yourself

so you're not having those those crashes

and you're not having those ecstatic

Peaks but you're somewhere in the middle

and you're even keeled that's

controlling your emotions pillar number

two P low number three is your ability

to read emotions and other people you

might call this empathy it's your

ability to understand what other people

are experiencing and feeling being able

to relate to that using your mirror

neurons you're relating to that and

you're understanding their point of view

it's really the ability to step into

somebody else's shoes and look at life

or a situation from their perspective

that's pillar number three and pillar

number four is your ability to then

manage your relationships so how smooth

are your relationships going for you how

well are you communicating and

interacting within them that is also

determined by your EQ so EQ consists of

all these four pillars and actually in

that book emotional intelligence 2.0 I

took tests and I got tested I got I got

a score for each one of those pillars so

you might be stronger and you probably

are definitely stronger in some of these

four than you are in others so maybe for

example you are really good at

controlling your emotions but you're not

so good about managing your social

relationships or maybe your

you're really good at identifying your

emotions but then you can't really

control them and so you know you're

experiencing you can label it you're

self-aware you're very conscious but

then you're just struggling to actually

then practically manage that and channel

it into your work or the habits that

you're trying to instill in your life

like you're working on your diet or your

gym so you know you can have different

levels and of course the idea is that

the higher you are in each one of these

the better because you want all of them

maxed out ideally the more intelligent

intelligence you have the better you're

going to do in life the happier you're

going to be so you want them to be

maximally at 100 each one at 100 all

right so those are the four pillars I'm

sure you have a deeper understanding of

what EQ is let's also talk about how

this actually relates to some of the

stuff that happens in our life because

it might still be a little bit abstract

at this point it might be a little bit

unclear as to how EQ can really help you

and how it impacts you already because

it's already impacting what's happening

in your life in fact if you're having

struggle in relationships whether you're

intimate relationship or relationships

at work with your boss with coworkers

with employees then that's a really big

sign that you have trouble in at least

one of these four pillars if not all of

them so let's talk about that so here's

a list of the things that EQ is

controlling or is tied to these are some

of the effects of EQ firstly is anger

management are you able to manage your

anger well if you are then you have high

EQ if you're not then you have low EQ

probably because well you're failing on

those first two pillars you're not very

conscious about it about your feelings

and secondly you're not able to control

them very well so that's an example

right there next is accountability

how much accountability are you able to

take on yourself rather than blaming

other people that's connected to EQ how

about honesty and trust

that one is connected tq2 how honest are

you with yourself but then also how

honest are you able to be in social

situations without having to be

pressured into

into line or telling white lies or being

distrustful of people so honesty and

trust are big and those are really tied

to EQ you've also got assertiveness and

confidence

these are big if you're lacking in

assertiveness and you're lacking in

confidence then you're also lacking in

emotional intelligence communication how

good of a communicator are you can you

communicate in your intimate

relationship how about communicating at

work if you're not able to communicate

effectively that shows a lack of

emotional intelligence how about stress

tolerance are you always stressed

are you frantic are you anxious thinking

negative thoughts always judging

yourself feeling guilty well that is a

sign that you don't have very strong

emotional intelligence you're faltering

on one of those four pillars how about

decision making how strong are you of a

decision-maker do you find yourself

waffling all the time making a decision

then going back and going forward and

going back and going forward or not

being able to decide between two things

for a long time

procrastinating this is a sign of low

emotional intelligence how about

flexibility how flexible are you do you

flow with life are you able to handle

the challenge in the situation that are

coming up with life or are you very

rigid and set in your ways and

everything is bumping into you and

causing all sorts of pain and suffering

that's a sign of low EQ how about

presentation skills probably more

related to work how well you able to

give a presentation to speak to convince

people to motivate people to inspire

people especially if your manager this

is very very applicable and good

managers must have high EQ to be able to

influence their employees in a you know

effective way also the next point is

listening skills how about listening

skills how good of a listener are you

are you able to really listen to what

people are telling you are able to

understand it to really empathize with

it and are you able to then show them

reflect back to them that you did

understand do people think that you're a

good listener or do people think that

you're a poreless

well if you're a poor listener then

that's tied to low EQ so that is the

list and I'm sure there's more these are

just some of the most obvious ways in

which EQ connects to your life in all

these different areas but of course it

relates to your intimate relationships

very much it also relates to how you're

doing at work how you're talking to

clients all of that it also relates very

much to how peaceful and happy you feel

just inside by yourself because if

you're always frantic and you're always

sad or depressed we're having any of

these kinds of negative emotions you're

angry all the time you're guilty this

shows a lack of emotional intelligence

because you're not recognizing them in

yourself first and foremost but then you

also don't have tools and strategies for

how to manage them and then you're

you're expressing them and then it's

also impacting your relationships out in

the real world so it affects you and it

affects the world so that's you can you

can see how powerful this idea is and

how many aspects of your life it affects

it literally the tentacles from EQ

literally spread into almost every

single aspect of your life this is why

this idea is so so so important so now

we know what EQ is we really defined it

I think you have a good strong sense of

how it relates to your life with all

these examples the question now is how

do you go about developing it or even

can you develop it what can you do about

this what if you happen to be low in one

of these areas what if you don't really

have a strong sense of your emotions

what if you don't have good control what

if you can empathize what if you are a

bad communicator or bad in relationships

how do you manage that well the good

news is that more so than IQ EQ is

highly developable that means you can

develop it you can work on it it takes

time it doesn't happen overnight it's

not a week-long process it will take you

months to do this but you can work in

pinpointed ways on those exact

deficiencies that you have in each one

of these four pillars you can do things

to retrain your mind to think in new

ways to make new distinctions to

understand new thing

and to put new communication skills into

place so that these things are brought

up to to the maximum and that's work

that you can do I actually do a lot of

that work through coaching a lot of the

videos that I share with you guys

although I don't explicitly say that

this is about EQ or emotional

intelligence ultimately this is what

actualize that org is about we're

helping you understand emotions we'll

help you understand your psychology and

psychology is very emotion Laden and

then we're helping you understand how to

master them through all these different

techniques so for example something like

meditation or something like journaling

could be a technique that you can use to

reduce your stress or to build more

understanding of your emotions something

like coaching is something you can use

to understand your emotions better

reading books and understand about this

stuff can help you understand your

emotions better then going out there

actually practicing some of this stuff

so there's a lot of different like

practical techniques that you can use

and you should use to actually go out

and work on each one of these pillars I

don't really have time to go into them

it's such a deep topic there's literally

hundreds of them so I can't cover them

all I'm going to have other videos that

cover how to work probably on each one

of these pillars and share more of these

techniques with you but this video the

purpose was just to show you that this

is out there get you to start to

understand that emotional intelligence

is important and then hopefully give you

a sense of this is something that you

should care about and you should

probably have a sense right now whether

you are lacking in one of these four

pillars or in all of them do you think

you have low EQ or high EQ well now you

probably now have a better sense

although you can go out there to

actually get it tested objectively

through some of these surveys that they

have in books and online which I highly

encourage you to do but ultimately now

you've got a sense of this and now get a

little bit more body in to this idea

that emotions are important self-control

is important it's all connected to your

success in life alright this is Leo I

would be signing off this is what I have

to say about EQ go ahead leave me your

comments please like this and share this

I want to spread the message and of

course check out actualized org because

we have an awesome newsletter there that

I want you to subscribe to it's free

free weekly updates with new video

articles other goodies and really

you want to be signing up because you're

getting you're getting more information

about how to develop self-awareness how

to interact with the people how to

understand your psychology and the

psychology of others because once you

understand yours and the psychology of

others and you have some techniques for

how to manage your psychology well then

everything starts clicking for you and

your eye your EQ raises and then you can

accomplish amazing things so sign up we

got some free bonuses there and new

updates every week

you


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