Moms, Part 1
Shannon: At the moment, we're talking about stay-at-home moms, or why does it have to be stay-at-home moms versus working moms, but it just is. There's a new Canadian study-if you're a working mom, you might want to read this-that shows that children with working mothers have better social skills, better academic results, lower scores in hyperactivity and physical aggression than kids with stay-at-home moms. It's a breath of fresh air if you're a working mom, because I believe that what we've done is we've made women feel like somehow they're cheating their children by going to work, which is not necessarily the case, certainly as evidenced by this study. Now granted, studies contradict each other all the time, but what a breath of fresh air to have a study that says that kids with working moms actually do better in some ways than kids with stay-at-home moms. I like this study because I worked. If you're a working mom, you know, it's just not all that bad as they say. But of course, you know, the stay-at-home moms are going to annihilate us for this, and we accept that. 604-280-CFUN, *1410 on your cell. Hi, Julie, you're on CFUN. Julie: Hi.
Julie: I just don't understand why it has to be us against them. Shannon: Me either, but it is!
Julie: I know. I was a working mom. I worked all the way-I've worked all the way through my kids growing up-I've got a 22-year-old and one that's almost 19- Shannon: And how are they?
Julie: They're wonderful kids. Shannon: Yes, there you go.
Julie: But when I was working, I made an extra effort. Like it took-you know, it was work. I made sure I went to every school thing, I made sure I got time off to drive for school field trips. I remember lots of kids who had stay-at-home moms, and they never went to anything.
Julie: And there's lots of, you know, kids that are from stay-at-home upbringing, that they're wonderful kids too. Shannon: Yeah.
Julie: And vice versa. I mean, there's lots of working moms that don't pay any attention to their kids. It's all relative. Shannon: I know, you're right. But the thing is, Julie, that apparently in Canada now, half of mothers are working. Not really fair that we have to walk around with this load of guilt on our shoulders, just because traditionally mothers stayed home. We just don't seem to be comfortable with a mother in the workforce, even though we need the money, and in many cases, it's not that we need the money, it's that we, you know, we want the extra stimulation. So, for whatever reason, for those reasons and probably more, I'm sure there'll be lots of child psychologists who will say that, you know, mothers need to stay home, and that's the optimum, but my feeling is it's not. I've got-my kids are fine, I know lots of working moms whose kids are well-adjusted and doing just fine. I don't believe that we've cheated our kids by going to work, and I guess that's what I'd like to talk to you about this morning. Do you feel-now I can tell you that the time went by very quickly for me, and you know, at a personal level, I sometimes feel like I'd like to have been there more, just because now that it's over, I'm thinking, "Where did that time go?" But my kids are good, and I think your kids are good too, and I think it's time we sort of cut working moms a little bit of slack here and don't just assign guilt to them because they're at work. 604-280-CFUN, *1410 on your cell. Hi, Carol, you're on CFUN. Carol: Hi, Shannon.
Carol: I think my family is a really good cross-section. There's five of us girls in the family, and we have fourteen children between us. Five of them are mine.
Shannon: Holy moly, Carol.
Carol: Yeah, exactly.
Shannon: You're good. Carol: Well, I don't know. Anyway, my kids have all turned out fine. They're self-supporting, they get along well. I've got three of my sisters who worked from the time their kids were three weeks old, and one that was a welfare bum. Shannon: Right.
Carol: And out of all of them, the kids are all working-their kids-are all working, all self-supporting, and I don't think it matters. Shannon: Well, I think that's good news. Carol: Yeah, oh so do I! I would never, ever condemn a working mom, just because I didn't. I had too many kids to go to work, it wasn't worth it financially. Shannon: Oh yeah, no, I hear you, because how would you possibly pay? But no, I think maybe you're right, Carol, maybe that's the place we need to get to. I don't feel like stay-at-home moms need to justify what they're doing, nor do I feel that working moms should have to justify-it's, you know, whatever you think is best, but I don't know that one is better for the kids than the other. I guess that's the point. Carol: And you said you wondered where the time went. Well, I stayed at home, and I'm still wondering where the time went. Shannon: [laughter] Carol, I appreciate the call, it's great to hear you.