Funny Names for Private Parts
Shannon: How are you doing? I'm Shannon. We're having a good time here today. We're having a few chuckles. Got a little bit red faced. A few people who are calling in are a little bit red faced but you know every now and then we get to play along and have a little game like this and it's fun, it's embarrassing and I don't know what it tells us about ourselves except that I think people are basically uncomfortable with the scientific terms for our body parts especially the private ones. So we make up these funny little names for our private parts that really don't have much to do with what they are or what they do or anything else but are just you know, funny little names and we kind of chanced on this topic because we were talking about hair removal and of course, you know our private parts are one of the places where we are looking to remove hair.
We are doing a bit of a consumer report about depilatories. Did I say that right, depilatories? Anyway, it sort of got on to this topic of what you call the special place? The best one so far I think is your special purpose. It sounds like something a mother would call your private parts. It applies to both men and women so you know, there you go. How is your special purpose and did you make sure that you washed underneath your special purpose? That's pretty good. Anyway if you'd like to kind of play along, we're just having a laugh here. You don't have to give us your real name but if there is some funny little name that you have for your private parts or your man has for his how about giving us a call and sharing that just because it's, you know, Friday and we're having a good time here and why not? 604-280-CFUN, *1410 on your cell, toll free it's 1-877-280-2386. Hey Lorraine, you're on CFUN.
Lorraine: Good morning.
Lorraine: My girlfriend Kathy phoned me and said I had to call in and just clear this up because there is a clinical name and it's not vagina or penis, it is moody and snooden. It always has been, it always will be. I even correct the doctor. It is a moody for a girl and a snooden for a boy.
Shannon: Ok, you're going to have to help me out here a bit. So for example, how do you smell, ah spell, ok that was a slip. How do you spell moody?
Lorraine: We don't spell it, we don't write it, we just say it. You can spell moody m-o-o-d-y and if you want to be cute I guess you can go i-e.
Shannon: Ok. Moody and snooden. So the snooden, is there some sort of place that this comes from or is it just what they look like and sound like?
Lorraine: That's just what it always has been. It's a clinical name. Moody and snooden and all my girlfriends correct their doctors. We use that term so I just wanted to clear that up. That's what it's really called.
Shannon: Ok, well see I didn't know that Lorraine so you learn something new every day. I thought it was a phoof. That's what it is in my house. I have a friend who calls it her unit which also works for me too. But a moody and a snooden. Ok. The actual technical names for our private parts. 604-280-CFUN, on your cell it's *1410, toll free 1-877-280-2386. My mother will be mortified but there you go. Hi Bonny, you're on CFUN.
Bonny: Hi Shannon. How's your mustn't touch it?
Shannon: Oh. That's good.
Bonny: I love that.
Shannon: That must be from the 50s, right?
Bonny: I don't know. I just had it said to me about a couple of years ago and I said my what? This guy said your mustn't touch it. I said I'll keep that in mind.
Shannon: Isn't that cute. Did he have a name for his own thing?
Bonny: I didn't bother asking him.
Shannon: Maybe it's the same name?
Bonny: Maybe it was. No, his was probably go ahead touch it.
Shannon: Yeah, flog it. Something like that. Thank you very much for calling and contributing that. Mustn't touch it. That's the name for the female private parts. Mustn't touch it. That's too cute. 604-280CFUN, *1410 on your cell, toll free 1-877-280-2386. Hi Sandra, you're on CFUN.
Sandra: We call it the fine china.
Shannon: The fine china?
Sandra: Yeah. You only bring it out on special occasions and wonder if it was there.
Shannon: Where did that come from?
Sandra: My friend, a little neighbor girl came over one day about three, and she said to her would you like to see my china? She goes sure and she lifted her dress.
Shannon: Oh no.
Sandra: Yeah. So she phoned up her neighbor, your daughter is over here showing me her china. The mother started laughing and she goes oh we just taught her the word vagina last night so that was it.
Shannon: The fine china. No, I like that and I like the little saying after that, handle with care and only bring it out on special occasions. That works for me Sandra. Thanks for calling CFUN. Maggie you're on CFUN.
Maggie: Hi Shannon.
Maggie: I'm killing myself laughing here.
Shannon: Good. So am I. I'm having a good time.
Maggie: I just wanted to let you know that my husband has a special name for his private parts? It's Stanley. The right tool for the right job.
Shannon: Stanley. They are so silly, aren't they? Stanley. I like that. My boys call it the Johnson and my ex-husband used to call it the Whopper and it was like you're kidding right? The Whopper. Who are you kidding? He's going to kill me now. I'm dead. Maggie I appreciate that. So Stanley. Ok good. That works for me too. We've got, in case you are tuning in and wondering what we are doing, we are just having a little fun here with the pet names that we've given our private parts or other people have given them or whatever. We didn't intend this to happen but it has happened and we're having a good laugh. 604-280-CFUN, *1410 on your cell, toll free 1-877-280-2386. Hi Ann, you're on CFUN.
Ann: Hi there. This is such a fun show this morning.
Shannon: Yeah, I'm having a good time too.
Ann: My neighbor used to tell her little daughters that it was their mini.
Ann: And the boys it was their willy.
Shannon: Yeah, I've heard the willy but that is not a very masculine word for it, is it? But I have heard that a lot, in fact I might have even used it. What do you use, what name do you use or are you just this technical, scientific person?
Ann: No, I don't really call it anything.
Shannon: You just try not to refer to it at all?
Shannon: Ok, Ann, I appreciate the call. Thanks for calling CFUN. 604-280-2386, *1410 on your cell, toll free 1-877-290-2386. I just have to tell you one last thing. Scott, my director who works for us was very shy about telling us exactly what he calls his private parts and then confessed that he calls it Big Jim and the twins. That is embarrassing. No wonder he didn't want to say anything. HI Shaun, you're on CFUN.
Shaun: Good morning.
Shaun: When my daughter was first born I didn't really know what to call it when I was changing her and she had a rash one day so I told my wife her stuff is all red. So my daughter calls it stuff ever since and every time she has a problem it's her stuff.
Shannon: That's very cute. I like stuff. I can work with that. Ok I have to put you on the spot here a little bit.
Shannon: And, what do you call your stuff?
Shaun: Well, since I got married I think it's called the headache maker.
Shannon: I get that. What was it before then?
Shaun: What was it before then? Twig and berries.
Shannon: Ok. All right Shaun, thank you very much for the call this morning. I like that, the stuff. That's good.
It's funny how these little names stick and we're far more comfortable with these seemingly meaningless silly names than we are with the actual scientific names for our private parts. It's like for some reason men are very uncomfortable using the word penis and women are very uncomfortable using the word vagina. In fact, when I hear little kids who use the anatomically correct language I blush. Even saying those two words myself, it's like oh my goodness, I'm blushing and yet I'm very comfortable using all of these other words. Big Jim and the twins, that's really good. You've got to wonder if there's a little exaggeration there. Our number once again, 604-280-CFUN, it's like a fisherman's tail, right? Toll free, 1-877-280-2386, and if you're on a cell, it's *1410. We'd love to hear from you this morning. You don't have to give us your real name. We're all just kind of blushing like mad here but it's interesting I think most people have a special name for their private parts and maybe you got it from your mom or who knows what but call and share. Hey Cheryl, you're on CFUN.
Cheryl: Hi Shannon.
Cheryl: I have a bit of a twist on the renaming things. I always believe in teaching your kids the correct word so you don't have to retrain them later. So, that's fine except for some reason every time someone passed gas I used to always say burped instead of farted, right? It paid off because one day we went to the flea market and I let one go. My little daughter walked behind me, Mom you burped. Mom you burped. So if I would have taught her the right name.
Shannon: It would have been embarrassing.
Shannon: And, it's funny, it's not funny, but you know some people are very good about teaching their children the right names. I don't thin I taught my kids the right names. I can't even remember what I taught them but they just refer to their private parts as the Johnsons and Jillians, like me, it's the phoof, right? It's just a phoof? I don't know why it is. Because it's kind of fluffy and nice.
Cheryl: That's right.
Shannon: Ok, Cheryl, I appreciate the call. Thanks for calling CFUN. 604-280-CFUN. Hi Sole, you're on CFUN.
Sole: Oh hi.
Sole: When my daughters were born, since I'm from Peru I started calling their conchitas.
Shannon: Conchitas? What does that mean in Spanish?
Sole: It's a shell.
Shannon: A shell. Isn't that lovely?
Sole: Yeah, so when they first got older, they are 11 and 12 and a half now and they met a friend of mine and her name is Conchita.
Shannon: Well you know what, that is like my kids. I have an Uncle Dick and the first time they met him at a Christmas party they are going like, mom, no, his name is not really Dick? Dick, that's his name? Dick? You know to them Dick meant penis.
Sole: That's right. Yeah.
Shannon: I like that conchita. That's very sweet Sole and I'm glad to hear from you this morning. Nancy, you're on CFUN.
Nancy: Hi there.
Nancy: I have two boys. They are now 15 and 18 but when they were younger my husband taught them that their private part was called Herman. He had a client Herman and Herman and Christina were coming for dinner one night and the kids were probably 5 and 3. They could not wait to see who was going to be standing at the door when Herman arrived. Even now when they hear anyone called Herman they just go into stitches.
Shannon: Well, yeah. I mean if you grow up thinking Herman is your penis.
Like I say, it's in their little minds who is going to be standing at the door when Herman and Christine arrive.
Shannon: Big penis in a suit or something.
Shannon: Ok Nancy. Thanks for the call. Have a great day. 604-280-CFUN, *1410 on your cell. If you're are just tuning and wondering what's happening, we're just kind of having a little laugh here around the names that we call our private parts. Hey Kate, you're all CFUN.
Kate: I have all girls so when they were little they all had hoo hoo's and the boys have hoo ha's.
Shannon: Oh well, there you go.
Kate: My mother in law called all her son's private parts jiggers.
Shannon: Yeah, ok, yeah I get that.
Kate: My husband calls his willy and his evil twin woody.
Shannon: Ok. That's good.
Kate: I just have a quick little joke to tell you that there's a reason why only men are very good at reading road maps.
Shannon: Why is that?
Kate: Because only men can see an inch as being as big as a mile.
Shannon: That's good Kate. I like that. Thanks very much for the call this morning. Terry, you're on CFUN.
Terry: Yeah mine is Mr. Happy.
Shannon: Mr. Happy. I've heard that one before.
Terry: He hasn't been happy for quite a while though.
Shannon: Well how old are you Terry?
Terry: Me? I'm 64.
Shannon: Oh well, so now he's just kind of Mr. you know.
Terry: No, he likes to get happy every now and then.
Shannon: Ok, that's enough Terry. All right, we're going to take a quick break and when we come back we've got a little more fun to have here on the Shannon Nelson Show.