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Weird Short Stories by a Weird Canadian, Luca's Incredibly Exciting Birthday Adventure

Luca's Incredibly Exciting Birthday Adventure

Luca woke up one day at exactly 8:23, just like any other day. This day, however, was different, for it was his 25th birthday and he'd really been looking forward to it, because 5 was his third favourite digit. He'd invited all of his friends and he could hardly wait to see them. He opened the door. At the end of the hallway sat a single cat, staring coldly at him. This was his cat, so he was not alarmed. Good!, thought Luca. Everyone came! He fetched his cat carrier and after a few hours, the cat was inside it.

Luca sat in his car. He sat in the driver's seat, because he would be driving. The cat carrier, and subsequently the cat, sat in the passenger's seat, because it would not be driving. “Where should we go?” Luca asked. His cat did not reply, but it was okay, because Luca had already come to a decision. They would take a trip to the hospital, because Luca had acquired a fairly substantial number of scratches when he forced his cat into the cat carrier, and was now bleeding profusely.

“Let me guess... it's your birthday and you wanted to go out somewhere with your cat, but all she did was scratch you up?” The cynical secretary had heard it far too many times before. “He,” Luca corrected her matter-of-factly. “Otherwise, it's all correct.” “Very good. Take a seat somewhere and wait.” Luca took a seat and waited. This place is totally dead, he thought to himself. Hospitals are even more boring than clubs and bars! He thought briefly on his cat, who was waiting outside in the car. He hoped that he was having more fun. “Yo, dude,” the man sitting beside Luca suddenly spoke up. “D'ya got any cash for me?” “Yes,” Luca answered him. He always brought along some extra change, just in case a stranger wanted some. He handed the man some cash. “Got a cigarette too?” “Yes,” Luca said. This was a lie, but he preferred the sound of “yes”. “Well, where is it?” the man inquired, after a moment of silence had passed, but it was then that the doctor called out Luca's name. “Sorry, I've got to see the doctor,” Luca explained calmly. “I'm bleeding profusely.” “Ah, didn't notice at all,” the man answered, which was peculiar, because it was quite blatant. He would later be diagnosed with a condition called “blindness”.

“It's blood,” the doctor finally concluded. “Thanks,” Luca thanked the doctor. He had been a little unsure. “Can you do anything about it?” “No,” the doctor shook his head. “Don't wanna,” he explained. “Ah, okay,” Luca accepted the reason. “My assistant can't do anything either,” the doctor continued. “She drank up a storm in the library last night. She was completely wasted. She's got a few screws loose...” “Nah, I don't think so,” Luca disagreed. He was no stranger to the party scene that libraries offered. “Hmm, she seems to have just disappeared somewhere anyway,” the doctor realized. “It's okay,” Luca assured him. “This birthday has already been sufficiently exciting.” “Oh,” the doctor said, “Happs.” “Thanks,” Luca responded. He enjoyed the rest of his birthday, until he passed out from blood loss.


Luca's Incredibly Exciting Birthday Adventure

Luca woke up one day at exactly 8:23, just like any other day. This day, however, was different, for it was his 25th birthday and he'd really been looking forward to it, because 5 was his third favourite digit. He'd invited all of his friends and he could hardly wait to see them. He opened the door. At the end of the hallway sat a single cat, staring coldly at him. This was his cat, so he was not alarmed. Good!, thought Luca. Everyone came! He fetched his cat carrier and after a few hours, the cat was inside it.

Luca sat in his car. He sat in the driver's seat, because he would be driving. The cat carrier, and subsequently the cat, sat in the passenger's seat, because it would not be driving. “Where should we go?” Luca asked. His cat did not reply, but it was okay, because Luca had already come to a decision. They would take a trip to the hospital, because Luca had acquired a fairly substantial number of scratches when he forced his cat into the cat carrier, and was now bleeding profusely.

“Let me guess... it's your birthday and you wanted to go out somewhere with your cat, but all she did was scratch you up?” The cynical secretary had heard it far too many times before. “He,” Luca corrected her matter-of-factly. “Otherwise, it's all correct.” “Very good. Take a seat somewhere and wait.” Luca took a seat and waited. This place is totally dead, he thought to himself. Hospitals are even more boring than clubs and bars! He thought briefly on his cat, who was waiting outside in the car. He hoped that he was having more fun. “Yo, dude,” the man sitting beside Luca suddenly spoke up. “D'ya got any cash for me?” “Yes,” Luca answered him. He always brought along some extra change, just in case a stranger wanted some. He handed the man some cash. “Got a cigarette too?” “Yes,” Luca said. This was a lie, but he preferred the sound of “yes”. “Well, where is it?” the man inquired, after a moment of silence had passed, but it was then that the doctor called out Luca's name. “Sorry, I've got to see the doctor,” Luca explained calmly. “I'm bleeding profusely.” “Ah, didn't notice at all,” the man answered, which was peculiar, because it was quite blatant. He would later be diagnosed with a condition called “blindness”.

“It's blood,” the doctor finally concluded. “Thanks,” Luca thanked the doctor. He had been a little unsure. “Can you do anything about it?” “No,” the doctor shook his head. “Don't wanna,” he explained. “Ah, okay,” Luca accepted the reason. “My assistant can't do anything either,” the doctor continued. “She drank up a storm in the library last night. She was completely wasted. She's got a few screws loose...” “Nah, I don't think so,” Luca disagreed. He was no stranger to the party scene that libraries offered. “Hmm, she seems to have just disappeared somewhere anyway,” the doctor realized. “It's okay,” Luca assured him. “This birthday has already been sufficiently exciting.” “Oh,” the doctor said, “Happs.” “Thanks,” Luca responded. He enjoyed the rest of his birthday, until he passed out from blood loss.