×

We use cookies to help make LingQ better. By visiting the site, you agree to our cookie policy.

image

Weird Short Stories by a Weird Canadian, Leopold's Professional Photography Business

Leopold's Professional Photography Business My name is Leopold and I run a professional photography business. I bought my first camera last week and I read half the manual, so I'm pretty good, if I do say so myself. I designed numerous posters and displayed them throughout the city, and I try to spend most of my time standing tirelessly beside any one of them to answer the questions of any eager potential clients. The question I'm asked most frequently is, “What exactly is this a photograph of?” but they're only asking that because the photograph is incomprehensibly blurry. I have had an even zero customers thus far, but yesterday I remembered the lens cover can come off, so I'm confident that business will pick up. I live in Vienna, which is a city in Jamaica. Oops, I mean Austria. Sorry, I always get those two mixed up. The city is very beautiful, so I will have many potential views to capture once I figure out how to point the camera at an object. I met a woman named Olga the other day. We're getting married tomorrow. She was a tourist, visiting my photogenic city presumably from South Korea. Oops, I mean Russia. Sorry, I always get those two mixed up. I happened to be dutifully standing next to a poster I hung up at the local fair when this South Korean... er, Russian beauty approached me. “Could you take a photograph of me?” she asked me. “I'm visiting Vienna alone because my friend bears a remarkable resemblance to a drag queen and I'm somewhat homophobic.” “I would be happy to once I find the 'on' button,” I informed her admittedly quite suavely and she immediately fainted. “You are an indescribably attractive man with whom I think I would like to spend the rest of my life,” she told me casually when she came to. “Okay,” I replied smoothly and immediately had to catch her because she had fainted a second time. “Could you take a picture of me on the Ferris Wheel?” the fair lady inquired. I nodded wordlessly and she swooned but didn't faint. We boarded the attraction together. At one point I looked at her and she almost fainted. I spent approximately nineteen minutes and thirty-eight seconds searching for the 'on' button, but Olga told me that I intently examined the photographic device in a very attractive manner, so it didn't damage our relationship. Then, I pointed my camera at an arbitrary point of nothingness, spent another seven minutes and twenty-one seconds searching for the button that takes a picture, and snapped a shot. I didn't look through the viewfinder because I've heard that can give you eyeball cancer. She naturally loved the photograph because I am a very gifted professional photographer. At our wedding tomorrow I will have the roles of both the groom and the photographer. I have asked my sister to pretend to be me so I can take the photographs because she looks a lot like a man. She agreed and is getting breast reduction surgery this evening to better fit the role.


Leopold's Professional Photography Business Leopold'un Profesyonel Fotoğrafçılık İşi My name is Leopold and I run a professional photography business. Benim adım Leopold ve profesyonel bir fotoğrafçılık işi yürütüyorum. I bought my first camera last week and I read half the manual, so I'm pretty good, if I do say so myself. Geçen hafta ilk kameramı aldım ve kılavuzun yarısını okudum, bu yüzden kendim söylersem oldukça iyiyim. I designed numerous posters and displayed them throughout the city, and I try to spend most of my time standing tirelessly beside any one of them to answer the questions of any eager potential clients. Çok sayıda afiş tasarladım ve onları şehrin her yerine sergiledim ve zamanımın çoğunu yorulmadan herhangi birinin yanında durarak hevesli potansiyel müşterilerin sorularını yanıtlamaya çalışarak geçirmeye çalışıyorum. The question I'm asked most frequently is, “What exactly is this a photograph of?” but they're only asking that because the photograph is incomprehensibly blurry. I have had an even zero customers thus far, but yesterday I remembered the lens cover can come off, so I'm confident that business will pick up. Şimdiye kadar sıfır müşterim oldu ama dün lens kapağının çıkabileceğini hatırladım, bu yüzden işlerin düzeleceğinden eminim. I live in Vienna, which is a city in Jamaica. Oops, I mean Austria. Oops, Avusturya demek istiyorum. Sorry, I always get those two mixed up. The city is very beautiful, so I will have many potential views to capture once I figure out how to point the camera at an object. Şehir çok güzel, bu yüzden kamerayı bir nesneye nasıl doğrultacağımı öğrendiğimde yakalayabileceğim birçok potansiyel görüntü olacak. I met a woman named Olga the other day. We're getting married tomorrow. She was a tourist, visiting my photogenic city presumably from South Korea. Oops, I mean Russia. Sorry, I always get those two mixed up. I happened to be dutifully standing next to a poster I hung up at the local fair when this South Korean... er, Russian beauty approached me. “Could you take a photograph of me?” she asked me. "Bir fotoğrafımı çeker misin?" bana sordu. “I'm visiting Vienna alone because my friend bears a remarkable resemblance to a drag queen and I'm somewhat homophobic.” “I would be happy to once I find the 'on' button,” I informed her admittedly quite suavely and she immediately fainted. "Viyana'yı yalnız ziyaret ediyorum çünkü arkadaşım bir travestiye olağanüstü bir benzerlik taşıyor ve ben biraz homofobiğim." “'Açma' düğmesini bulduğumda mutlu olurum,” diye itiraf ettim, oldukça tatlı bir şekilde onu bilgilendirdim ve hemen bayıldı. “You are an indescribably attractive man with whom I think I would like to spend the rest of my life,” she told me casually when she came to. “Okay,” I replied smoothly and immediately had to catch her because she had fainted a second time. “Could you take a picture of me on the Ferris Wheel?” the fair lady inquired. Dönme Dolapta bir fotoğrafımı çeker misin? diye sordu güzel bayan. I nodded wordlessly and she swooned but didn't faint. Tek kelime etmeden başımı salladım ve o bayıldı ama bayılmadı. We boarded the attraction together. Atraksiyona birlikte bindik. At one point I looked at her and she almost fainted. Bir noktada ona baktım ve neredeyse bayılacaktı. I spent approximately nineteen minutes and thirty-eight seconds searching for the 'on' button, but Olga told me that I intently examined the photographic device in a very attractive manner, so it didn't damage our relationship. 'Açma' düğmesini aramak için yaklaşık on dokuz dakika otuz sekiz saniye harcadım, ancak Olga bana fotoğraf cihazını çok çekici bir şekilde dikkatle incelediğimi, bu yüzden ilişkimize zarar vermediğini söyledi. Then, I pointed my camera at an arbitrary point of nothingness, spent another seven minutes and twenty-one seconds searching for the button that takes a picture, and snapped a shot. Sonra kameramı rastgele bir hiçlik noktasına doğrulttum, yedi dakika yirmi bir saniye daha fotoğraf çeken düğmeyi arayarak geçirdim ve bir fotoğraf çektim. I didn't look through the viewfinder because I've heard that can give you eyeball cancer. Göz küresi kanserine neden olabileceğini duyduğum için vizörden bakmadım. She naturally loved the photograph because I am a very gifted professional photographer. Doğal olarak fotoğrafı çok sevdi çünkü ben çok yetenekli bir profesyonel fotoğrafçıyım. At our wedding tomorrow I will have the roles of both the groom and the photographer. Yarınki düğünümüzde hem damat hem de fotoğrafçı rollerini üstleneceğim. I have asked my sister to pretend to be me so I can take the photographs because she looks a lot like a man. Fotoğrafları çekebilmem için kız kardeşimden benmişim gibi davranmasını istedim çünkü o bir erkeğe çok benziyor. She agreed and is getting breast reduction surgery this evening to better fit the role. Kabul etti ve role daha iyi uyması için bu akşam meme küçültme ameliyatı olacak.