Thiago Sil Val Se1Ep1 (1)

[Kid Rock] Whoo. Yeah.

Somebody make some

motherfucking noise in here!

Fuck these people.

- [mellow music playing]

- [chatter]

Man, this place is unbelievable.

Fucking Goolybib, man.

Those guys build

a mediocre piece of software,

that might be worth something someday,

and now they live here.

There's money flying

all over Silicon Valley

but none of it ever seems to hit us.

What the hell are you eating?

Liquid shrimp. It's 200 dollars a quart.

Wylie Dufresne made it.

How does it taste?

Like how I would imagine cum tastes.

You guys taking it all in?

Because this is what it looks like

when Google acquires your company

for over 200 million dollars.

Look Dustin Moskovitz.

Elon Musk. Eric Schmidt.

Whatever the fuck the guy's name

is who created Photrio.

I mean, Kid Rock is the poorest

person here. Apart from you guys.

OK, there's 40 billion dollars

of net worth, walking around this party.

And you guys are standing

around drinking shrimp

and talking about what cum tastes like.

Yeah, I heard that.

You guys live in my incubator

You've got to network.

That's why I brought you here.

I got us in here.

Javeed over there is my ex-room-mate.

Yeah, but I drove.

Eric Schmidt, Erlich Bachman.

It's amazing how the men and women at

these things always separate like this.

Yeah, every party in Silicon Valley

ends up like a Hasidic wedding.

Not even the Goolybib guys

were talking to girls.

They don't have to, Big Head.

This house talks to girls.

[glass clinking]

Hello! Whoo!

I got seven words for you.

I love

Goolybib's integrated-

multi-platform-functionality!

- Yeah! Whoo!

- [low applause]

But seriously,

you know, a few days ago, when we

were sitting down with Barak Obama,

I turned to these guys and said,

"OK, you know, we're making

a lot of money.

And yes, we're disrupting

digital media.

But most importantly

we're making the world

a better place.

Through constructing elegant hierarchies

for maximum code reuse

and extensibility."

So everyone.

Here's to many more nights

just like this one.

Take it away,

my good friend, Kid Rock.

What a dick.

[electronic music playing]

Big Head, there is a personal ad section

on this Asperger site.

Holy shit, this one is looking for

a "relationship that has the potential

to become sexual in nature."

Boy, is she on the spectrum.

She can't even make eye contact

with the camera.

Richard, can I talk to you for a second?

- Solo.

- Mm-hmm.

We need to talk about Pied Piper.

What about it?

The website's up and running,

I'm just redesigning the compression.

It just needs users.

Yeah, no shit. But even if somebody

wanted to use it

they wouldn't be able to figure out

Now, Richard,

when you pitched me Pied Piper

you said it was gonna be,

"The Google of Music."

Which is a really rad way

to pitch something.

I mean, I liked it.

I thought it had "Applications".

No, it has all that.

Look, when it blows up,

and it will once it reaches

a critical mass of users,

Pied Piper will be able to search

the whole world of recorded music

to find out if there's a match

to see if you're infringing

on any copy righted material.

So, if you're a song writer or a band...

OK, first of all, nobody gives a shit

about stealing other people's music, OK?

Everybody involved in the music industry

is either stealing it or sharing it.

They're all a bunch of assholes,

especially Radiohead.

- Look, Richard...

- No.

Yeah, they're assholes.

Now, look, Richard, if you want

to live here, you've got to deliver.

I can't have dead weight

at my incubator, OK?

Either that, or show some

promise for fuck's sake.

Like NipAlert. Big Head's app.

It gives you the location

of a woman with erect nipples.

Now, that's something people want.

Richard, you need to get

in touch with humanity.

When I sold my company, Aviato,

I wanted to give back.

That's why I started this place,

to do something big.

To make a difference.

You know, like Steve.

Uh, Jobs or Wozniak?

- Steve Jobs or Steve...

- Oh, I heard you.

- Which one?

- Jobs.

I mean, Jobs was a poser.

He didn't even write code.

You just disappeared

up your own asshole.

- You know that? You did.

- Well, technically...

Big Head, I'm gonna be meditating.

He knew how to package the ideas,

but it was Wozniak that...

What is Hooli? Excellent question.

Hooli isn't just

another high tech company.

Hooli isn't just about software.

Hooli. Hooli is about people.

Hooli is about innovative technology

that makes a difference,

transforming the world as we know it.

Making the world a better place,

through minimal message

oriented transport layers.

I firmly believe we can only achieve

greatness

if first we achieve goodness.

Erlich is gonna kick me out.

And I can't afford to pay rent here.

It's insane. $2800 a month,

$4500 a month... with five people.

Jesus! Why is it so expensive here?

Look at this place, it's a shithole.

Uh-oh. Here's another one.

Miss Palo Alto, 2K14. There she goes.

Oh God, the marketing team

is having another bike meeting.

Douchebags.

`Yup, another day inside

the Gavin Belson cult compound.

Hey, did you hear

what Peter Gregory is doing?

You mean buying

that island in the Pacific?

No, he's building one actually.

Baller.

Anyway, he's also offering a hundred K

to people willing to skip or drop out

of college to pursue their idea.

I don't know what happened to that guy,

but he really hates college.

Anyway, he's doing a TED TALKS

in Palo Alto tonight.

- We should try to get in.

- I dropped out of college.

Maybe I should re-enroll and drop out

again. Try and get the money.

Brogrammers. Oh, no, no.

Hey, uh, a double macchiato

for me, dude.

Yeah.

Hey, Rico, you been working out?

No. No, I have not.

I don't have time to

even if I wanted to.

I'm too busy

working on my website.

Uh, I just, I don't want to end up

being a Hooli lifer.

You know, working here forever.

Yeah, working for the most

innovative company in the world,

with top pay and vested stock options.

I can totally see

why you wouldn't want that.

Yeah, you're like an artist.

An entrepreneur.

An iconoclast.

I don't know, maybe.

Dude, We're just messing with you.

But we really want to help you

with your site. What's it called?

Pied Piper.

- Dude, sounds amazing.

- Yeah.

Why don't you shoot it over

to us and we'll give it a look.

Maybe we can help.

- Uh, really?

- Yeah.

OK, yeah. I mean it's always good

to have more eyes on it.

It's... Sent it.

Oh, you're making fun of me.

- Dude, no.

- No, you are.

- Aw, Ricky, man.

- Ricky. Ricky, come back.

It's actually Richard, so that's...

- Pied wiper.

- Wide diaper.

Gates, Ellison,

Jobs, Dell.

All dropped out of college.

Silicon Valley is the cradle

of innovation because of drop outs.

College... has become

a cruel expensive joke

on the poor and the middle class

that benefits only

the perpetrators of it.

- The bloated administrators.

- You are a dangerous man,

spewing ignorance!

I don't think so.

I'm just saying people

should trust themselves

more than a system that happily churns

out unemployed debtors

and provides dubious value.

The true value of a college

education is intangible.

The true value of snake-oil

is intangible as well.

[laughter]

Fascist.

Anything?

The usual riffs

on Twitter and Instagram.

Nothing I'd fund.

- Hi, excuse me, Mr. Gregory?

- [sighs]

I have an idea I'd love

to pitch you, if you have time.

Oh.

Well, that is before I just give up

and go back to college.

Don't! Do not do that.

Go work at Burger King.

Go into the woods and forage

for nuts and berries.

Do not go back to college!

I think I have been played.

Fine. Go ahead and pitch.

You have until I fasten

the seatbelt in my car.

Thank you so much.

Pied Piper is a proprietary

site that lets you find out

if your music is infringing

on any existing copyrights.

So, imagine you were a song writer, OK?

I don't think I could write a song.

Yeah, no, just imagine if you were.

I don't even think I could say,

"Pied Piper is a proprietary site."

Well, I just did but it wasn't easy.

Crunching all those songs

to find matches sounds like it would

take incredible processing power.

- I mean...

- Yes.

Yes, it does.

No, no. Its... I made an algorithm.

Look, why don't you send me a link

to your project and we'll take a look.

OK, yeah, great.

I put the prototype up on Github.

Pied Piper. I'll look it up.

It's like the fable with the kids

and then the rats and the music.

That is a narrow car.

Fucking billionaires.

Hey, wanna check

out twig-boy's website?

Yes, I do.

You have to download

your own media player?

Ahh. Look at me,

I traveled back to 2009.

Wait a sec. What is this file size?

Wow, that doesn't sound

at all downgraded.

The file size is like, half.

And look how fast this search is.

Holy shit, how did it find a match

that fast?

It's like it's searching compressed

files?

No way.

[rock music playing]

Look at that Weissman score.

Hey, Where have you two been?

We're playing the multi-channel

router team in five minutes.

OK, how the hell did he do this?

And the compression

is totally lossless.

And he's somehow figured out a way to do

a search on a compressed data space.

- Holy shit.

- Yeah.

And I don't think he even

realizes what he has here.

He's using it

for some silly songwriter app.

All these guys are like that,

they're all about consumer facing.

Right, but you take something like this,

make it business facing

and use it for enterprise?

The applications could be endless.

Hey, I thought you were a Satanist?

I'm a LaVeyan Satanist

with some theistic tendencies.

Oh, some theistic tendencies.

Well then, what's with the cross?

- It's an upside down cross.

- Not from here it isn't.

Oh, I see, you know

what you should do?

You should get another tattoo

that says, "This side up" on it.

- How does this translate into Farsi?

- That's not the language I speak.

[Erlich] Frontier Airlines just happened

to like mine, Aviato.

And that's how I got to where I am.

So... what do you got?

OK, here it is.

Bit Soup.

It's like alphabet soup but it's ones

and zeros instead of the letters.

'Cause it's binary. You know,

binary is just ones and zeroes.

Yeah, I know what binary is.

Jesus Christ! I memorized

the hexadecimal times tables

when I was 14

writing machine code!

OK. Ask me what nine times F is.

It's fleventyfive.

I do not need you

telling me what binary is,

just like I don't need you thinking

about soup or taking pictures of it.

I need you thinking about

apps, software, websites.

This is Silicon Valley,

all right, not...

...Paris, Texas.

That's where Campbell's Soup is.

- [cell phone ringing]

- [chatter on computer]

[sighs] It's the Hooli number again.

It's probably those brogrammers.

Can't wait to tell me how stupid

my website is.

- Assholes.

- Hello, Richard Hendricks.

I'm a total fucking retard.

Uh. Hi, this is Jared Dunn

calling from Hooli.

I'm calling a behalf of Gavin Belson.

I didn't... hi.

Gavin is very excited about

your Pied Piper application

and we were wondering if you could come

in for a sit-down with us.

- Are you available now.

- OK.

- Sure. Yes.

- OK, we'll be here.

[stutters] Good-bye.

Uh, I have a meeting with Gavin Belson.

He likes Pied Piper.

- Holy shit.

- I own 10 percent of Pied Piper.

- You said it was a shitty idea.

- It was a shitty idea.

I'm not sure what it is now.