Is this an old expression?

I read in a writing book that “I’d appreciate it if you could help me.” is a too formal expression, and “ I wonder whether you could help me.” is more common.

Is this true?

“I’d appreciate it if you could help me” is alright but it’s a bit long and formal.
You could think of shorter expressions while keeping the same meaning:

  • I wonder whether you could help me.
  • It’d be great if you could help me.
  • I’d appreciate your help.

I would say the last two are the best ones, especially in speeches.
But I wonder if there’s any better/newer phrases nowadays.

Maybe I am older but the two are to me interchangeable.

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I wouldn’t say it was too formal nor is it old. It’s just simply polite, which is never a bad thing in English.

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Thank you for the comments!

It is great that I get different views on expressions from native speakers :slight_smile:

Thumbs up on the interchangeable idea. I would have actually naturally said “I’d appreciate it if you could help me” if I wanted help first up.

Yukiko,
There is a massive question-and-answer help site http://en.allexperts.com/ which features dozens of general categories from Arts to Music to Travel, and countless subcategories.

You can use the search term “you could help me” (in quotes) to find hundreds of written examples of this sort of phrase from the past 15 years or so. Such a massive site could prove to be useful for searching all sorts of phrases in contemporary English.
HINT: It is always best to narrow your search by putting your search term “in quotes.” You can further narrow a search by adding search terms using a plus sign. For example:
“you could help me” +“appreciate”


Here is just one example (which I edited somewhat):

Dear Dr. Colin,
I was just wondering whether you could help me out. I’m getting ready for my piano exam and I’m currently working on writing the program notes. However, I’m having a little trouble getting relevant information about the pieces I’m going to play. The pieces are:

  1. Bach’s Partita No. 1 in B-flat major
  2. Mozart’s Piano Sonata No. 13 in B-flat major
  3. Chopin’s Op. 18: Grande valse brillante in E-flat major

I’d really appreciate it if you could help me out. Thanks in advance!


I agree with neofight. It is neither too formal nor outdated; it’s just a really polite way of asking for help. Which, as neo points out, is never a bad thing!

Good to know! Thanks :slight_smile:

Bruce,

Thank you so much for the wonderful website and the search tips!!!

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Help me.
Help me, please
Please, help me.

To be more polite than adding “please” to an imperative is increasing the level of formality.

You can think of levels of formality as number of words, number of syllables. However, increaing the number of words or syllables may only serve to confuse the audience. The audience may not get your point. Your point is that you want something and you want to ask politely or very politely.

There are not strict forms of levels of politeness. Being polite, beyond using “please” is someting that is becoming increasingly less common in the USA. So in that sense you could, if you need to, think of both expressions as old. However, the one you specifically asked definitely takes more time/energy/syllables to say than the first one

“I’d appreciate it if you could help me.” (eleven syllables)
I wonder whether you could help me. (nine syllables)

The two are equivalent in meaning. Both use “could” so are rather modern, unless of course you are actually questioning someone’s ABILITY to help you.

Depending on the circumstances each could sound equally formal, or equally silly. Particularly when, “Please help me,” said with a smile, eye contact, and a gentle tone would have delivered the message politely and gotten the job done more efficiently.

(1) I’d appreciate it if you could help me." (eleven syllables)
(2) I would appreciate it if you could help me." (twelve syllables but more modern than (3) due to the use of could instead of would)
(3) I would appreciate it if you would help me. " (twelve syllables)
(4) It would be so wonderful, if you wouldn’t mind, if you would kindly help me. (nineteen syllables)

For an audience that appreciates short, to the point messages…both
“I’d appreciate it if you could help me.” (eleven syllables)
I wonder whether you could help me. (nine syllables)
might be considered “too formal”

For me, personally, neither are “too formal” per se. Something would be "too formal " or “too casual” when it is used in an inappropriate situation.

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Thank you, Nia!

My pleasure, Yukiko! I just re-visited my response, corrected my typos and made a few other (hopefully) clarifying changes. :slight_smile:

Wow, that is so kind and professional ! Thank you again, Nia!